More than I could imagine!

I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written a blog. Life has caught up with me, but no news is good news! Let me tell you about the past few months. Paislyn has been doing great. She amazes me more and more everyday with the things she does. The other day I did something I shouldn't of and looked back at all of Paislyn's pictures from the day she was born until now. Of course, SURPRISE, I cried... hah but I can't believe all that she has overcome in such a short amount of time. I sat and felt sorry for myself for a moment, because I can't say that I remember a whole lot from her first few months ...it kinda breaks my heart, but I know that I have so much to be thankful for. Paislyn Nicole has grown up way to fast! My precious baby is the happiest little thing. She smiles all the time and has grown to have such a cute little personality. Paislyn claps all the time, and "flaps her wings (arms)", as her cousin Corban says, her laugh is contagious and could bring tears to my eyes, her kisses are the most amazing things in the world, she is so inquisitive... well kinda nosey haha, and such a smart and beautiful little girl. I could go on and on about how amazing she is. Paislyn has been doing awesome health wise. She is only on 4 medications right now and only 2 of those relate to her heart. As of today she is 20 lbs 7 oz, 28 inches long and sounds and looks great! She will be having a VCUG for her kidneys and another ECHO for her heart in October to make sure everything is doing what it should be. I feel such a peace about how great Paislyn has been doing. I have been able to enjoy my baby girl with no big worries. Paislyn loves the water. We have taken her swimming a couple times and she has a blast. She splashes and plays the whole time. She loves her Popsicles, ice cream, and of course whatever else your eating ... She wants! hahah I just love the age she is at right now, I wish I could freeze her for awhile. She is just so much fun.. I love watching her figure things out and doing something for the first time. Speaking of she FINALLY is getting her 1st tooth as of this past Tuesday. It is about time haha. She isn't crawling yet, but I think that will come in "Paislyn's time". I know it seems silly to share all these little things about Pay, but there was a time when I didn't think I would see her do these things. God has allowed Paislyn to live a full and productive life. She is such a gift to me and I couldn't love her more if I tried.  

Little Miss : )

Silly Girl

 LOVES her Snacks

Popsicle in the pool, life is good!

She is so Beautiful

She thinks she is a big girl, drinking out of mommy's water : )

By His Mercy and Grace

Today Paislyn had a follow up appointment with her cardiologist! We walked into the hospital and people were commenting left and right about how beautiful Paislyn is. It melts my heart to hear people say that, and it also is a great conversation starter to share Paislyn's testimony. God orchestrates our steps and he did just that today. As we were getting ready to leave the registration desk and walk to the appointment one of the ladies stops mom and says, "Wait, do you remember, I prayed for you and your grand baby", and then she saw Paislyn and was overjoyed. The day I delivered Paislyn was a crazy day as most of your know. My parents had left to go home for awhile, and in that couple of hours a lot happened. My brother needed to get blood work so my mom brought him with her when she came back to the hospital. Well, it was at that time that Dr. Allen walked in and told Jacob and I that Paislyn needed to be transferred to Toledo Children's Nicu. Jacob called my mom, who was down in registration with my brother, to tell her the news. Of course my mom and brother both lost it and this is when this woman was there to pray with my mom. She laid her hands on her and prayed for Paislyn. She told us today that she was just thinking about Paislyn the other day and wondered how she was. She said that God planned for her to see us today and she gave Paislyn a big hug and kiss. It made her day! God is soo good!  Dr. Hennessey thought Paislyn looked great today. He said, "Wow, she had a BIG surgery and she looks really good." She weighed 18 lbs. 5 oz and was 28 in. long. Paislyn was clapping her hands ( her new trick) , and eating her snacks having a good time. He then said, "There was a time when she was in Toledo, that I didn't think we would be where we are today."  I remember that day like it was yesterday. The nurses told me to give her one more kiss and then I needed to lay her in the crib. She was so fragile, and they didn't think she would even survive a transfer to Michigan. Well let me tell you something... God was NOT going to let that happen! He totally intervened and gave Paislyn the strength she needed to get through those couple days and off to Michigan we went. She has done awesome with 2 open heart surgeries and she is anything but, FRAGILE ; ) I give all the glory to God! He has shown me how merciful and powerful he truly is. I am so thankful to hear all the great reports about Paislyn and am so lucky to have her with me each and everyday. God couldn't of given me a greater gift!

"I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you and I will proclaim my name, the Lord."  Exodus 33:19

A Special Thank You

Paislyn's Beautiful Cards

As I pulled up my driveway late tonight I saw a package in my mailbox. I assumed it was something I had ordered last week. I went in the house and opened it up and was blown away. Tonight Paislyn received 21 "Get Well Soon" cards from Mrs. Rosch's 2nd grade classroom from Ottoville Elementary. I read every card and was so touched to see the love from these children to my little girl. For all of you that know me probably are wondering how a 2nd grade class from Ottoville knew about Paislyn, well this is how. When I was pregnant with Paislyn I went to Dr. Kindig's office and loved her and all of her nurses as well. The night of Paislyn's benefit Lisa Filhart handed me a card and told me to open it. I immediately asked her if it would make me cry, because I was already WAY EMOTIONAL, and she responded by saying, "yes, you should probably open it later." Well when I got home I opened it and I was a blubbering mess! The card had a letter in it and a picture of 4 beautiful little girls. It was from Kandis, a nurse and her family from Dr. Kindig's office. The letter explained that when the girls first heard about Paislyn they told their mom that they didn't want anything for Christmas. They told their mom to buy them each a Little Miss Miracle T-shirt and give the rest of the money to Paislyn. Well, I was blown away. I was so humbled that 4 little girls cared that much for my precious baby. I was truly amazed! God put Paislyn in their hearts for a reason, and I am so blessed by that. They are exceptional little ladies! So I would like to give a special thank you to The Brinkman family for caring so much about Paislyn and for all your thoughts and prayers! I would also like to say thank you to Mrs. Rosch's 2nd grade class for taking the time to send such beautiful cards! I will read them all to Paislyn tomorrow! We appreciate you all so much and for everyone who has cared about Paislyn and our family during this time! THANK YOU!!!!

Amazed

Paislyn Loves bath time!

She was laughing for no reason! I love it!

Paislyn on our walk : )

Yep, she's a DIVA!

She loved swinging!

Just too cute!

As I look at Paislyn I am truly amazed by how well she is doing. She is almost 8 months old and has gone through not 1, but 2 open heart surgeries. Paislyn laughs, plays, jabbers, rolls over, loves to eat ( as you can tell), SMILES ALL THE TIME, and has the sweetest and spunkiest spirit! You would never know that she has something wrong with her. If that is not proof that we have such an amazing God I am not sure what is! I sometimes feel like I have been living a dream and I don't remeber certain parts of her life. I feel like the first couple months were a blur, which makes me sad, but at the same time it is becasue of God that she even made it past those first couple of months. I remember very clearly the day that the doctor came in and told us that there would be no point in doing an open heart surgery for Paislyn. That doctor obviously didn't know just how Big our God is! I look at my baby girl now and all she has went through and am in total amazement! She is doing awesome! The past week I have been so amazed by her. She makes me stronger and more thankful every morning that I pick her up out of her crib and see her sweet smile. Sometimes I don't think we realize how lucky we are. I sit back and look at other people's situations and know just how truly blessed I am. It breaks my heart to see and hear other people struggling, but I know God has a plan and a purpose. As Paislyn's mommy I feel it is my job show others how God has worked in Paislyn's life, that is why God gave me such a precious gift. Paislyn has been such a joy since we have been home. She has been her loving, smiley self. She is sitting up playing with her toys, laying on the floor playing, kicking those crazy legs of hers, and of course smiling at us all the time. It is so nice to have my Paislyn back : ) We have been able to take her on walks, let her swing outside, and love on her just like we did before. I am so thankful this second stage surgery is over. It went so great and we have been so very blessed.  I know that I love Paislyn more than anything in this world, and I TRUST God that he has a plan for her life. She is here to show the world that miracles happen and God is in control. I am excited about the next year or so just to experience life with Paislyn. We have a lot of fun things planned this summer and I am excited to enjoy my daughter. I truly feel honored to have such a special little girl :) My prayers for Paislyn are that she is not ever ashamed by what she has went through or her scar, but that she is honored and uses it as an oppertunity to show the love of Christ to others. God has given her a constant reminder of his power and love, and I hope she will embrace what a mighty God we serve. I hope she will be talking to her friends on the playground about God and how he was by her side through the toughest time in her life. I know she will grow to be an amazing little girl, and I am honored to be that amazing little girl's mommy!

Home Sweet Home

So happy and ready to go home!

Beautiful baby

At Home in her swing : )



Watching cartoons at HOME :)

Last night I was pretty sure that we would not be going home today. Paislyn was still not acting herself and was hooked up to IV fluids. It was about 1 am and Paislyn was being fussy. The Nurse Practitioner came in and noticed that her central line was leaking into her leg making it very puffy with fluid, she decided she had to pull the line out. She then looked at me and said, "Ok mom, here are our choices.. we can put another Iv in her arm to give her more fluid which I don't want to do, or we can put a feeding tube in just overnight to make sure she is getting fluid." I told her I didn't like either choice lol :) I then asked her if I could try the bottle with her just ONE MORE TIME:) She said of course! I began feeding Pay her bottle as EVERYONE stood around her bed to watch, more like wait to see if she threw it up. GUESS WHAT...... She didn't! I was so happy. I knew she could do it! I then gave her a few more bottles over night and she did well. This morning she was pretty fussy, but the Nurse Practitioner said she imagined she had a bad "Hemi-headache". We gave her some meds and she was fine : ) We got everything all packed up and were ready to head for home. I was so excited, and so thankful that Paislyn did so well. I  felt sad for the families we left behind, families that had been there longer than us and who I knew would love to be heading home as well. I will continue to pray for all of the families we got so close with :) Paislyn did awesome on the ride home. We walked in the door and she was pretty fussy. Jake took her around the house to show her, her room, her crib, and then ...."the picture". LOL The same picture I talked about in previous blogs..... it seriously made her smile so BIG, she knew she was HOME : ) Paislyn has been a joy to have home. She is smiley and loves playing with all her toys. I sit here and think.. Paislyn had Open Heart Surgery just 5 days ago and we are home..... God had his hands on Paislyn from the day we got there and I believe that with all my heart. He is a miracle worker and I feel so totally BLESSED with my little girl. I can truly say I wouldn't change a thing about Paislyn. I hate to see her go through it, but God has made her so special. It moments like these where I can sit back and think about all she has went through at just 7 months old. It makes her that much more incredible to me: ) He has big plans for Paislyn and he has changed me in the process. Thank you everyone for caring so much for Paislyn. I am so thankful for each and every one of you that take the time to pray for her. The power of prayer is amazing! I never imagined that we would be home this early, but Paislyn is so happy and so are we! We give all the credit to God, without him we wouldn't be where we are today!

Food Please!

My pretty girl :)

Hey girls, look at my cute purse :)

I love her so much!

Today has been a pretty good day. Paislyn is doing good, but having a "food bump" along the way. She was eating pretty good yesterday and all the sudden today she will not eat her formula at all. She is throwing it up everytime I get the bottle near her mouth :( It makes me sad because I know how much Paislyn LOVES to eat. Please pray tonight that she begins to drink her formula better. She has been eating some baby food no problem, but she needs to drink her formula to stay hydrated. Paislyn had her discharge echo done today and it looked great. The Doctor came in today and said yet again, that Paislyn looked great. It is reassuring that they all feel so good about how she looks. At the same time it is hard for me because she is still not acting like my Paislyn. I know it has been only 4 days since her surgery, but I want her to smile and be my crazy lady like usual! I know that God has brought her this far and he will watch over her the rest of the way. Just please pray she starts eating great! They have started fluids just to keep her hydrated, but want us to keep feeding her too. She needs to eat good tonight and tomorrow so we can still go home tomorrow! Today our roommates left : ( The Troupe's went home. Matthew was so excited when they were walking out the door, it was so precious! It felt empty in our room when they left, but I am so happy they were able to go home! We are so glad we met them and will forever have an awesome friendship! Thanks everyone for all your prayers, and continue to pray for Pay tonight : ) She needs to pull through this end part and I know she can do it! : )

Let Me Tell You About My God


 

She is starting to smile again!

Paislyn's adorable purse from Grandma Kathi

Our family : )

My beautiful baby girl on our first walk around the peds floor!

God's precious child!

I am amazed more and more everyday at what God is doing in my little girl. I began to get a little worried last night when I looked at Paislyn. Every time I looked or talked to her, her eyes would roll back in her head and she wouldn't smile at me. I began to feel anxious at why she was acting SO different. It just didn't seem like my Paislyn. She had a pretty good night, although I didn't sleep much : ) They had given her a little more drugs to keep her comfortable, and then she slipped off into yet another deep sleep. Finally, she woke up and I looked in her eyes and she gave me a half smile : ) I rejoiced inside! I was so excited! Paislyn's smile lights up my world. Her sweet spirit shines through her smile and it seemed so odd to not see it. About 12 today my mom, dad, grandma Kathi, and Aunt Mary came to see Paislyn. She still was not real smiley, just very tired. We went to lunch, I went and bought her a balloon, and then we came back to see her. My little girl was starting to return. My grandma Kathi got Paislyn the most adorable purse with her name embroidered on it! She loves it! The Hammitt's also sent us a package today filled with awesome stuff and Paislyn got a purse rattle and loves that too! She was so happy. She started smiling a little more and it made me feel so much better. It was around that time when she spotted the balloon. We put it by her crazy fast feet and she went to town, my little girl was back! I almost cried. I am overwhelmed with thanks and gratitude today. The University of Michigan Hospital has the most talented and nicest staff. They have helped fix my little girl's heart, of course with the help of our most amazing God. I sit here and think about how lucky I am to have people who can do these types of surgeries. Paislyn looks so great from the outside, and on the inside she still has a few things that need fixed, but I can't wait until Paislyn can begin to share her testimony. God has been so faithful. I have cried out to him more in the last few months than I ever have in my life. I see now that I need to continue to praise him and serve him just the same every single day. I know that Paislyn would not be where she is today without God. He has continued to protect her and keep her safe. If I could tell you anything that I have learned during this experience it is this... Even in the storms of life that God is merciful and faithful. He has not left me one time and he has made me trust and love him more in the last 7 months than I have in my life. I feel like that in and of itself is worth it. I am not the same person I was 7 months ago. God has spoke to me in a big way and I am thankful for everything he has done! Paislyn has been a gift to me and many other people. She is doing amazing and has had an awesome day. We have been so blessed! We are hoping to come home on Wednesday! : ) That is the latest news, so we will see..... :)

The Floor

We are so BLESSED!

Daddy and his girl

I was so excited to finally hold her!

My tired little girl watching her Baby Praise

Today started off with great news. Jacob and I got up early to get to Paislyn's room so we could hear what the Doctor's had to say about her today. They came to her bedside and said once again how awesome she looked. They said they were going to remove her chest tubes, catheter, and arterial line today. They also said we could begin to feed her and at the end of his sentence he said she will be going to 5 East today. Jake and I just looked at each other..... I said, " We are going to the Peds floor today?" The doctor said, "yes you are." I was amazed. I then began to get nervous, because peds floor is a lot different than ICU. Yes, it is another step closer to home, but we are only 2 days post operation. The nurse looked at me and said, "Aubrey they would never send her out there if they didn't think she was ready!" Well, we are here now and she is doing great. She is very very sleepy today since she had all those tubes removed, but she is doing good. She is sleeping a lot and watching her Baby Praise in between her LONG naps. She looks kinda rough today. She has red marks all over her from tape removed, and she beat her face up a little with her IV trying to get her nose cannula out. I just can't get over how well she is doing though. It feels so good to be able to say all the wonderful things I have about her. She is such a miracle and we are so thankful. We have met lots of awesome families while we have been here! We have gotten especially close with the Troupes! There son Matthew is 10 years old and has Charge Syndrome. Please pray for continued healing for him and his family.His parents are amazing people and we have loved to get to know them. Matthew has a blog called http://lessonsfrommatthew.com/. It is so incredible! God has brought our two families together this time for a reason! We were right beside them in the ICU, and we requested to be roommates in Peds, and guess what ..... WE ARE! It makes the stay a little better knowing you have another awesome family to go through it with you. We have been so blessed by what God has done during this trip to Michigan! He is here in a big way! Paislyn is starting to wake up a little more tonight and eat. She looks a lot less tired and hopefully she will get the rest she needs. Thank you all for your prayers! We love you all!

24 hrs POST OP

Today has been such a BLESSING! It has been 24 hrs post operation and Paislyn is doing so great! Last night Paislyn was able to get off the ventilator. She looks so good! I was blown away at how great she has done and how wonderful she looks. This morning Jake and I got up around 6 a.m. to get to Paislyn's room so we could be there for "rounds". The doctor's got there about 8:30 a.m. and were so uplifting. They were so pleased to see how well she was doing. The Dr. looked at us, pointed at Paislyn and said, " See this, babies don't look like this 18 hrs after surgery." "She looks incredible!" I was so excited. They then began to talk about her feeds. The one Dr. said by the looks of her they could feed her a hamburger :) God has totally protected Paislyn. He has been by her side and watched over her from the beginning. They have been feeding Paislyn Pedia Light and she has been loving that. She is starting to grab at things because she is uncomfortable so they have had to give her more and more drugs to keep her comfortable. We put Paislyn's Baby Praise dvd on and she has been enjoying listening to it. It has been relaxing her enough to keep her content. Overall, Paislyn has been doing wonderful. God has worked through Paislyn's body and has protected her along the way. We are so blessed by the good news and grateful that she has done so well. We have faith and TRUST in God and that is the reason she has been so successful. The Dr's are pleased and so are we! We have lots more ahead of us, so please continue to pray. God is in control and she truly is our Little Miss Miracle! : )

18 hours Post Operation

Surgery Day

Paislyn with mommy and daddy before surgery

Paislyn with maw maw and paw paw

Getting wheeled down to surgery with mommy

Paislyn had a good night last night, Jake on the other hand didn't get much sleep in the room with her : ) We were up bright and early to spend some time with Paislyn before her surgery: ) We prayed over her and then it was time. They came to get her around 7 a.m. and wheeled us down to the surgery prep room. I had a moment when we first got in there and I lost it.... My heart broke. The nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said, "God will take care of her." It really made me feel so good.  Next thing I knew nurses were all around us laughing at how happy Paislyn was and how smiley she was being. Paislyn was hamin' it up! That made me smile! : ) She always knows when mommy needs a smile! They took her from us and her journey began at 7:30 a.m. I knew God was walking right beside her into the operating room, and holding her because I couldn't. It's almost 10 a.m. and we are now patiently waiting for updates every few ours from the nurses while Paislyn is in surgery. We have so much faith that God will pull her through and she will have a safe and fast recovery!



Right after Paislyn's surgery



She really looks SO good!

The Dr.'s at rounds said, "Wow, she is Big, that's awesome!"

Dr. Hirsch came in at 12:30 and said Paislyn's surgery went great! She said her pulmonary arteries looked great, she had no heart arrhythmia, and she was very pleased by how well Paislyn did. We told her thank you so much, and she said, "No thank you guys for getting her so chubby." haha : ) I began to get very nervous to go back and see Paislyn. I had a mild breakdown and then I was fine. It was finally time! It was 2:30 p.m. and we were able to go see our precious baby. I felt kinda sick to my stomach and excited at the same time. As I turned the corner and saw her I about cried, SHE LOOKED ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! Once again I praise God for what he has done! The nurses gave an amazing report of how well she is doing and how good she looked. She only has one chest tube, she is already breathing over the vent, and is on barely any medication at all. God is SOO GOOD! I was so excited to see her and how beautiful she looked! They had already made her a little bow and put it in her hair : ) They know me oh so well. She was having a little trouble keeping her oxygen sats as high as they need to be so they just had to turn the vent up a little until she wakes up a little more. The plan is to get her off the vent tomorrow! I know she can do it so pray that she breathes hard and gets that out! Thank you so much for all your prayers God truly answers them! I can't believe what a great God we serve!! Love you all.

Heart Cath Update

Looks like she is smiling at Jesus : )

Me and my girl after her heart cath

Daddy and his princess

 Smiley girl before the heart cath with her dolly from maw maw and paw paw!

                                          So Sleepy after the cath : )

My beautiful baby girl

Feeling good on the peds floor : )

                                       

8:00 a.m. Paislyn weighed in this morning at 17lbs 15 oz. before her heart cath. She was so smiley and had the JOY of the Lord! The nurses all thought she was adorable of course : ) But she truly was such a happy little girl!

11:00 a.m. Paislyn is out of her heart cath and did awesome : ) She is still sleeping and probably will be for a couple more hours. They said she did a great job! Dr. Hirsch came to talk to us and told us she was so pleased with how good her cath went. She showed us pictures of Paislyn's left and right ventricles and I never realized just how small her right ventricle was, it is just a little sliver compared to her left. ( It's her little Nemo ventricle) We are so glad that God saw her through the cath like he did. She will be able to eat as soon as she wakes up, and Dr. Hirsch said we have been doing a good job feeding her by the looks of her chubby legs : ) I give all the thanks and glory to God for seeing her through!

4:00 p.m.  Paislyn is doing awesome! She is laying in her bed like a little DIVA, with her "cell phone", dolly, blankie, while watching cartoons. She has eaten great and loving her bananas! Everyone is so amazed by how wonderful she looks and how CHUNKY she is! : ) They all LOVE HER!

Thank you all for the prayers for Paislyn! We appreciate them so much and we can tell GOD HEARS THEM ALL! Keep praying! Paislyn's surgery is at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning! They are taking her around 7! Continued prayers for our little girl! God is going to do big things I can tell already! Thanks so much!

Ready Or Not Here We Come....

The day has arrived. I have to admit before now I had kind of blocked it out of my mind. As I did laundry and packed our bags on Monday I wasn't emotional at all. I just kept myself busy and tried not to think about it. Paislyn was a little fussy Monday night and she wouldn't go to sleep. I felt a little overwhelmed, but I decided it would be the perfect time to just pray over her. I gave her a bottle and looked in her eyes and just prayed. I prayed that God would protect her during her surgery, and that she would feel peace inside her heart and body. I prayed that she would recover remarkably and that God would comfort her and hold her when I couldn't. She fussed a little bit after that so I walked around the house with her. She then spotted "the picture" on our wall and stopped crying and gave me a huge smile! For those of you who don't know what "the picture" is, it is a picture that was taken in her Little Miss Miracle onesie and tutu the day after we came home from her 1st surgery. I don't know what it is about this picture, but every time Paislyn sees it she gets the biggest smile on her face. Maybe she sees what a miracle she truly is. Maybe it's her way of thanking God for how far he has brought her already... who knows, all I know is that something about that picture blesses her heart. Tuesday rolled around and I felt a little more overwhelmed. I cried and cried for about 20 min when I first got up and then I felt better. I allowed myself just a moment of weakness and then looked at my baby girl with such Joy. I have watched her develop into such an amazing little girl and am so thankful that God chose me to be her mommy. Being a mom is the most amazing thing in the world. I have such an amazing mother!I want to tell her and everyone else how much I truly apppreciate her. My mom has always been there for me. She has been such a cheerleader for me through this time in my life. No matter how bad of day Paislyn was having in the hospital, my mom would encourage me and tell me it was going to be ok. She would be strong for me when I couldn't. Yes, I know there would be times when she would leave the room to "go the bathroom" and cry, but she always put on a strong face for me. Love ya mom and thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope I will always be that kind of mom to my children. I would have to say I have had a pretty emotional day today. It really is hard concept to think about. A few members from our church came over today to lay hands on Paislyn, and I was so grateful. It is so nice to see how many people really truly care about her.  Tonight we had a little get together at my mom and dads house so we could pray for Paislyn before we leave tomorrow. We had all of our grandparents over and it was a nice time.  I am truly blessed with an awesome family who loves and supports us! They are awesome! Well we are leaving tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. to head to Michigan. Paislyn will have a heart cath at 8 or 8:30. This procedure will be about 3 hours long. Please pray for no complications or blood clots during or after the heart cath. We will then have the rest of the day to love on, pray with, and hold our precious Paislyn before her surgery early Friday morning. I want to rest in assurance tonight that GOD will hold, comfort, and protect Paislyn all the days of her life! He is the great physician and I have faith that he will guide the doctors hands tomorrow and Friday. Please continue to pray for a smooth procedure and surgery and for a fast recovery for my baby girl. I do know that God gave me her for a reason and I will walk with her every step of the way. I am blessed and fortunate to have such a loving and beautiful little girl. Continue to lift her up and pray peace over our family in the upcoming days. We will get through it and we thank all of you for loving us enough to go through it with us! I will continue to try and blog as much as I can to keep everyone updated! I am going to "rest inside because it's going to be alright!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGCHecATSGs      "ARMS THAT HOLD THE UNIVERSE - FEE"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. "  Proverbs 3:5,6


"Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."    Psalm 28:6, 7

The Results

Happy little girl before the Echo

Her smile is PRICELESS!

So Sleepy after her Echo

Chewing on the pacifier that the nurse gave her

On the way home from Michigan

As we pulled up to U of M I began to feel anxious. All of the past memories were coming over me and I felt a little overwhelmed. We were driving by and Jake said, " There is our little walkway we walked everyday to and from the Ronald McDonald house, and there is the garage we walked through to get into the hospital everyday", and it almost seemed surreal. We had arrived. A part of me was excited to see nurses and doctors that we had seen before and to hear what they had to say about Paislyn. We got the the Pediatric Cardiology Clinic and signed Paislyn in and shortly after were escorted to her room. My beautiful baby girl weighed in at 17 lbs. 11 oz! Let me remind you that Paislyn had not eaten anything since 6 a.m. and for all of you that know her she takes her food pretty seriously. I was so nervous she would be so upset the entire drive up to Michigan and before her echo, but let me tell you she did not fuss, cry, or wimper one time. God had given her such a peace! I was so happy. The sedation room was dark and they had music playing in the background. They gave Paislyn an oral medicine called Chloral Hydrate and she fell fast asleep in her daddy's arms. They told us the echo would take about 40 min and to come back to the room then. When we got back in the room the nurse started to laugh. She said in the middle of the echo Paislyn decided to do her little "sit ups" and she opened her eyes real big and looked at Bryan ( The cardiologist), and gave him a big smile. She then decided it would be a great time to suck on her toes. They just laughed and laughed at her. The nurse went and got Paislyn's pacifier and finally got her back to sleep. We got back to the recovery room and she woke up great! As smiley and happy as ever! She was just talking away and inhaled 2 full bottles! All we heard all day was how beautiful Paislyn was. They told us how "pink" she was which is great to hear for a heart baby, and how big she had gotten! We waited for Dr. Armstrong to review Paislyn's echo while other "fellows" came to look at her. She loves to grab the stethoscopes, they are like a toy just for her. Finally Dr. Armstrong came in to tell us about her results. You know that feeling when you just know it didn't turn out the way you expected....... I saw it on her face. She began to tell us that Paislyn's ventricle had not grown like they thought it might. They thought she could potentially have a ventricle and a half, but instead they are now going the single ventricle repair route. She told us that Paislyn would need to have a heart cath and the  Hemi Fontan (2nd stage surgery) in the near future. I didn't know just how "near" she meant. She came back in and said that we would be coming back up there on March 31st for her heart cath and surgery the net day on April 1st. I was taken back to say the least. I said ok, put my head down and tried with all of my might not to cry. I knew this day would come.... just wasn't ready. Dr. Armstrong ordered a chest x-ray before we left. As we were walking down the long hallway to radiology I lost it. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I cried and cried. I was officially a mess. They called Paislyn's name for her chest x-ray and I was still crying. For all of you that have never got the pleasure of watching a chest x-ray...... it's horrible! They strap the baby on a tall table thing hanging in the air. They strap each arm up in the air and put a strap under their head forcing it to look up, while their legs are hanging down. I turned my head so I didn't have to see Paislyn like that and I noticed she wasn't crying, I looked up at her with her head all strapped back and she gave me the cutest little smile. It forced me to laugh out loud. She knew that was exactly what I needed at that moment. We got her all dressed and headed for home. Jake and I cried together almost the whole way home. We got our emotions out and then we knew it was time to deal. We needed to be strong for our daughter. I had a rough night sleep just thinking of the previous surgery and all it entails, but I know that God will watch over my precious Paislyn and protect her. I have faith and trust in the most awesome God that he will never leave her or forsake her. He will continue to touch Paislyn just as he has for the last 7 months. I will continue to "Be still and know he is in control" ( Fee) I ask for your prayers. Please pray peace and strength over Paislyn. I ask that you begin to pray for wisdom for Dr. Hirsch ( Paislyn's surgeon). Also I ask for prayer for Jake and I. Please pray for peace over us and that we will give God total control over our little girl. Thank you all so much! We love and appreciate all of you so much! More than you will ever know!