Mothers Day:)

Happy Mothers Day to all the mommies out there! I had a GREAT Mother's Day today. I wouldn't of changed a thing. My baby girl got me a pink coffee mug that said " Mom you Rock" and a very sweet card, also ( from my parents) a picture frame with our picture in it and candy and a sweet card, I got an Oragami Owl necklace from my mom and dad, and a beautiful heart necklace from my sister and brother in law! I was BEYOND BLESSED! The best gift of all was seeing my sweet Paislyn walk and play with her cousins today. As exhausted as I am I was so happy and excited to see her just WALK! I can't believe she had open heart surgery 4 days ago!!!! This journey has been crazy..... I look back at my blog from Pays last surgery and ya my life was different.... Different dynamics than this time around but it's crazy how God shows up on the scene of my life right when I need him. No matter the trial big or small God is there. I can't imagine going through a harder time in my life than i am right now and I want everyone to know....... I FEEL PEACE...peace that only comes from my Heavenly Father...peace that God has filled my heart with.

Today Paislyn has gotten her central chest tube removed, she also got her pacer wires removed. She is no longer hooked up to an IV, however she still has her IV in her neck so they can draw blood instead of poking her. Paislyn has walked for the first time today , and walked ALOT! She has played in the play room today for a long time with her cousins and smiled a lot today. She also has eaten a little bit today which is awesome! God is so good!! Pay is still very sore which is to be expected duh... Lol but I still hate seeing her hurt:( she is being such a big girl though and I am beyond proud of her! WE ARE ALMOST DONE!!!!! Almost done with the last surgery:) it's a feeling I can't explain :) good things are ahead in mine and Paislyns life...... I feel a peace about what God is trying to do In my life and ready for where he leads us! I couldn't be a happier or prouder momma today on Mother's Day! I have so much to be thankful for :) my baby girl is my world, and the best gift I have ever been given was on August 24th 2010 when I was given the gift of being a mommy :) please keep praying for a smooth recovery!!! :) love my lady!

I am one happy momma! Actually let me rephrase that ....... I am one BLESSED momma! God has shown me time and time again that when we rely completely on him and put our trust completely in him he will always provide. And he has provided a miracle in my sweet Paislyn. I have so many feelings in me but the most overwhelming one is THANKFULNESS:) I am so thankful that this is Paislyns last open heart surgery! WE ARE DONE!! As Paislyns surgeon came out to tell us she was done I couldn't hold back the tears..... We had done it, we have climbed the huge mountain that always seemed to big to even think about going over and it was that moment of relief and thanksgiving....God had brought my baby through not one, not two, but three open heart surgeries! As I sit back and think about the day when the doctor told me that my almost 3 week old baby probably wouldn't survive Her first surgery and see how far we have come I have only 3 words to say.......GOD IS GOOD! We've been given a gift, well many gifts through out this journey..... I have the most amazing little girl a mom could ask for, these amazing doctors have "fixed" my babies heart so she is able to live a full life, but my most important gift is this.... I have encountered God in a way that I would have never been able to if I had not been on this journey. God has made me fall flat on my face and put all my trust in him more times than I was ever prepared for. I have learned that Gods love and grace and mercy is more than we will ever need. He tells us if we fully rely and trust in him he will provide for our needs and wow he has done that for me!!!! Even in the small things God is there..... I can't tell you how happy my heart is!

Today Paislyn is doing great! She is not even 24 hours post op and she has been on the regular Peds floor since 11:30 this morning! She has been such a trooper:) late last night she got her vent(breathing tube) removed and this morning she got her folly (catheter) removed, her arterial line, and her IV that went straight to her heart :) She is suppose to get another one removed tomorrow :) I am so thankful for how well she has done! She was really thirsty and drank lots of water and apple juice but other than that she has pretty much just rested all day today, which is good :) She's such a strong little girl! I LOVE her so much! Thanks again for everyone's prayers! Continue to please pray peace over the "hospital stay" with our circumstances but I know God has that in his hands too :) I am a very thankful, happy, and Blessed Mommy :)

A Mommy's Heart

I'm going to start out by saying I TRUST GOD!!!!! But tonight my heart hurts ...... I am overwhelmed to think about my sweet Paislyn Nicole going through another open heart surgery on Thursday. I look into her beautiful big brown eyes and I couldn't love someone or something more than I do that little girl. She has changed my life more than I ever thought it could. I know there is so much prayer over Paislyn and we couldn't be more BLESSED to have friends and family who love us so much and who have supported us in so many ways. I am so thankful tonight for the doctors who are able to "fix" my baby girls heart and I'm so thankful that we will be at one of the best hospitals. I just am not looking forward to handing my sweet baby girl over...... Although Paislyns heart is not perfect anatomy wise it is perfect in my eyes.... She has the sweetest most loving heart. In the moments where she is playing and just looks up and says, " Mommy I love you so much" or when I am getting ready in the morning and she says, " Mommy you are beautiful" or when all she wants to do is sing "God of Angel Armies" or read " Jonah in the whales belly" in her Bible, or when I asked her if she wanted to bring her Dora book to the hospital the other day and she said, " No mommy I just want to bring my Bible.... It's those moments that take my breath away. Paislyn is such a beautiful little girl inside and out. She loves EVERYONE and is such a love bug. God is going to use her for BIG things someday, I am sure of it!!! But for right now...... Inside my "mommy heart" I'm struggling...... I'm being very honest and I'm overwhelmed at what all is going on in my life and thinking about my baby girl in surgery kills me. But this is what I KNOW.........God watched over my tiny 6 week old Paislyn in her first open heart surgery, He watched over my chunky 7 month old Paislyn in her second open heart surgery and WILL watch over my sweet and spunky 2 year old in her third open heart surgery! I am asking that everyone please keep flooding heaven with prayers for my baby girl and for peace in my heart :) I know everything will be ok and God has this all in control! I am trusting him with all things and especially my little girl! I ended my night putting my baby girl to bed and her asking me to sing God of Angel Armies with her........ I'm not sure it gets much sweeter......

As you are praying for Paislyn please join me in praying for baby Christian as he will be having his second open heart surgery the same day as Paislyns, please lift up his parents Hunter and Ashly Pauly as their hearts feel just like mine. Christian is an adorable and sweet little boy and God will protect him through his journey as well! I can't wait to meet this family someday! They are pretty amazing!!

Thank you all for everything you have done...So many people have Blessed me during this process in ways I do not deserve. You are all truly amazing and again I don't know where we would be with out the constant prayer from everyone. Thank YOU for PRAYING FOR PAISLYN :) She will always be my LITTLE MISS MIRACLE :)

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe."  Psalm 61:1-3

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch

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"God of Angel Armies"

Praying for Paislyn

Well........ A month from today is the day! Paislyn Nicole will be having her 3rd open heart surgery. I have so many mixed emotions going through my head! I'm excited that my baby's heart is going to be "fixed", but I am scared to death. I sit and look back on the last 2 and a half years and am in awe of how God has shown his face in my life. Ya there has been tough times, but who doesn't have tough times? I've had times where I think I will never get through what I'm going through and then I not only get through it , but I see how God worked through me or the situation. No one can fully prepare themselves to watch their child go through surgery of any kind. It's hard, it hurts, and all you want to do is take your child's pain from them. They don't deserve to feel the hurt they have to go through....... However, God sent his only Son to die for our sins, and I look at Paislyns heart a lot of the same way. I am in no means comparing what God has done for us all and Paislyn, but this is what I have seen...... My precious baby girl has had her chest cracked open twice, been on a bypass machine twice ,on ventilators, had countless Iv's, shots, pokes, medicines, x-rays, echos, and countless other tests, and had to endure way more than a precious 2 year old girl should have to. But this is the way I look at it...... Because of the journey Paislyn has went on many people have seen and heard the grace and power of Jesus Christ. She will forever have a "pretty" on her chest to show the world that she has been broken, yet healed by the blood of Jesus. God has watched over and protected Paislyn in more ways than I have ever imagined. She is a constant reminder of Gods grace and love. She has opened people's eyes to God, and the way I see it is if that is what Paislyn has had to go through for that to happen then I am honored God chose my little girl for such a big task! I am trying to mentally prepare myself for Paislyns surgery.... It will be hard, but I BELIEVE AND KNOW that God is and always will be in control of this situation. I ordered the "Praying for Paislyn" bracelets and was OVERWHELMED at how many people wanted them. I am so incredibly thankful for the people God has put in my life to love and pray for my precious little girl. I can't believe how many people take the time to pray and think about Paislyn, but I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Without so much support from everyone we would not make it through this! I also want to take the time to talk about my family. I have THE most incredible, supportive, loving family. My mom and dad have been there for me more than I deserve. They are always there to encourage and support me. I am so thankful God gave me such an amazing set of parents who love me and care for me through the good and the bad. They have stepped up on my behalf so many times and I can't thank them enough for loving Paislyn and I and being there for us every step of the way. I couldn't do this without them! My sister and brother in law are incredible. They love Paislyn so much and would do anything for her. They are there to encourage me, and love me through the hard times. Paislyn is blessed with such an amazing Aunt and Uncle. They have stepped up in so many different ways the last couple years and I'm so grateful for them! My brother is a phenomenal uncle and brother! Paislyn adores her Uncle Logie and he loves her just the same. His minimal but meaningful words of encouragement mean so much to me and I am so thankful for his support and love! I am truly BLESSED by my family each and every day, but I am also blessed by all of you that love us so much! You are not my family and are in now way required to care or love us like you have, yet you do...... We are so thankful for each and everyone of you! I ask that you all please continue to pray for my little lady! She is and always will be Little Miss Miracle! God made her heart special and someday I can't wait to explain to Paislyn just how much love, hope, faith, strength, triumph, and BLESSINGS........that came from that beautiful little scar on her chest.....

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"I Will Praise you in this Storm"

I haven't written a blog in a LONG time and I think I'm ready to start back up. Paislyn is doing amazing since her last surgery and I thank God everyday for her health! She is incredible; she is so smart, beautiful, sassy, inspiring, lovable, and independent. I thank God for giving her each of those traits because it makes Paislyn exactly who God made her to be. I am currently experiencing a "storm" in my life. Sometimes I catch myself saying. "Why me God?", but I know that God knew about this storm in my life long before it happened. He has prepared me to face it head on and live each day knowing God holds my tomorrow in his hands. It's hard when going through a time in your life when you feel that you have no control. I find myself crying, happy, sad , and excited all at the same time for the path I am on. I am so thankful that I serve a God that I know loves me for me and is there for me no matter what. On top of the "storm" I am facing, I received a phone call Friday scheduling Paislyn's Fontan ( her last open heart surgery).  I have to admit.... Friday was rough. I sat at my desk at work and cried and cried for a few minutes, when a friend came over, put her hand on my shoulder and asked if she could pray for me. I can't tell you what that meant to me. It's moments like these where life can get overwhelming, but I wiped my tears, said a prayer and told God that I thank him for being in complete control of this situation and my life. I Trust him in all circumstances and have faith he will see us through this "storm".  Tentatively Paislyns last open heart surgery will be mid April of this year. I ask that you please keep her and us in your prayers and pray that God shows his face at that hospital and protects my precious little girl through this last surgery. This last surgery will be a lot harder for many reasons, but I'm trusting God has it all under control. I can not worry about Tomorrow and just need to find peace in today. She is such a strong little girl and has done AMAZING through her surgeries and I know she will do just as well through this one. I am so thankful for everyone in my life who has loved and supported us through all of Paislyn's journey and am so grateful for each and everyone of you. I have had such incredible people reach out to me during this time in my life. A friend that I haven't even met has shown me so much love over the last couple months. Our babies are both heart babies and God had a reason to bring us into each other lives. They recently sent Paislyn an adorable Princess barbie and me the most beautiful and meaningful necklace to represent Paislyn's heart. I can't tell you Ashly and Hunter what that has meant to me in my life right now! Paislyn and I are incredibly lucky to have so many family and friends who love us! God is good and I will continue to put all of my faith and trust in him and him alone. My prayer is that he continues to watch over my sweet baby girl and hold her through this last surgery when I am not able. He has performed miracles before in Paislyn's life and I know he is going to do it again. Moments when I start to feel sad I take comfort in knowing God is my comfort and there are so many other people in the world who have it a lot harder than me! I am thankful and grateful for the life God has given me! Lord, I will Praise YOU in this STORM!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ Praise you in this Storm!

^" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."            Philippians 4:6

Paislyn Supporting Congenital Heart Disease Awareness!

My little DIVA

Mommy's Beautiful Necklace!

Me and My beautiful girl!

Paislyn Nicole!

I Love this little girl more than you know!

My beautiful ring My Gma Kathi and Gpa Bob got for me! Represents mommy and Pay's hearts!

Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week

1st Surgery 10-4-2010

2nd surgery 4-1-1011

Hey Girl Hey!

Heart Buddies.. Nora, Bowen, and Paislyn

1st Birthday

Fall 2011

Fall 2011

Christmas 2011

I haven't blogged for quite awhile.... for lots of reasons really, but mainly just didn't have the time. I can't get over the last 17 months of my life as I sit and reflect of all the places we have been, and the trials we have OVERCOME! God has shown me his face more in the last 17 months than I have encountered in my entire life, or maybe it is just that I was more open to seeing him.  I think of Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week 2 years ago and think I probably didn't even acknowledge it, and why didn't I? Because I was not directly affected with it, and really wasn't aware of what it was all about. I feel like people are like that with a lot of things. If it doesn't directly affect us or someone we know, we just tend to brush it off. I know I do that with a lot of things and I hope that in the future I take the time to acknowledge every ones trials and see them for what they are and what they are going through. This week brings back a lot of memories for me. I sat down today and looked through her Surgery books I made her and read through my Journal, which am now wishing I DIDN'T lol haha, but I truly can not get over how far Paislyn has come. From the moment the Dr's told me that she wouldn't even survive, to the gut wrenching moment when I handed the surgeons my 6 week old baby, to coming around the corner for the first time in the ICU and seeing my beautiful baby girl with tubes everywhere, to doing it all over again at 7 months old, I can't tell you how I thought in those moments that I couldn't do this..... Well I did, and I did because I was not doing them alone. God made me STRONG when I was WEAK, he made me TRUST when I couldn't see, and he knew way better than I that he had this all in Control. I would do it all again tomorrow to have the outcome I have today with my Paislyn Nicole. She amazes me more and more everyday with her spunky personality, and loving nature. She is BEAUTIFUL, talks up a storm, adores Dora the Explorer, loves to do Patty Cake, RUNS everywhere lol, has amazing FITS, :) Eats like a CHAMP, has the most incredible "CHEESE FACE", gives the best hugs and kisses, adores both her cousins whom she calls "Backpack" lol, says "Thanks" for EVERYTHING, and most of all has a beautiful scar and testimony that will be with her for the rest of her life.  I hope when Paislyn is in school during CHD awareness Week she uses it as her opportunity to show the Love of Christ to all her friends and show them  how God is with us in our trials and loves us unconditionally no matter if we have a scar on our chest, no hair because of Cancer, braces on our legs, or feeding tubes in our nose. I hope she is able to sympathize with all children and show them they are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God that made them just the way they are. It is strange how much your world and views change in such a short amount of time.... something as silly as a "heart". I use to despise clothing with Hearts on them, heart jewelry, heart anything really, and now I can't get enough of it! God has made my precious little girls heart so incredibly special and taught me a lot of life lessons in the process. I am thankful for how far she has come and for how much father she has to go. My life has been forever changed by Paislyn, more than she will ever know. In closing, I ask that when you remember, you keep our CHD children in your prayers. They are strong little ones, who have lots of Dr's appts, get sick very easily, have to always be "a little different", and could always use a PRAYER! I also want to again say THANK YOU to EVERYONE who has been apart of Paislyn's journey with us. Although I might not have been great at acknowledging it then, I remember what each and everyone of you did for us during this last year and a half and honestly couldn't of done it without you! You are all AMAZING! Thank you for loving us so much.

More than I could imagine!

I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written a blog. Life has caught up with me, but no news is good news! Let me tell you about the past few months. Paislyn has been doing great. She amazes me more and more everyday with the things she does. The other day I did something I shouldn't of and looked back at all of Paislyn's pictures from the day she was born until now. Of course, SURPRISE, I cried... hah but I can't believe all that she has overcome in such a short amount of time. I sat and felt sorry for myself for a moment, because I can't say that I remember a whole lot from her first few months ...it kinda breaks my heart, but I know that I have so much to be thankful for. Paislyn Nicole has grown up way to fast! My precious baby is the happiest little thing. She smiles all the time and has grown to have such a cute little personality. Paislyn claps all the time, and "flaps her wings (arms)", as her cousin Corban says, her laugh is contagious and could bring tears to my eyes, her kisses are the most amazing things in the world, she is so inquisitive... well kinda nosey haha, and such a smart and beautiful little girl. I could go on and on about how amazing she is. Paislyn has been doing awesome health wise. She is only on 4 medications right now and only 2 of those relate to her heart. As of today she is 20 lbs 7 oz, 28 inches long and sounds and looks great! She will be having a VCUG for her kidneys and another ECHO for her heart in October to make sure everything is doing what it should be. I feel such a peace about how great Paislyn has been doing. I have been able to enjoy my baby girl with no big worries. Paislyn loves the water. We have taken her swimming a couple times and she has a blast. She splashes and plays the whole time. She loves her Popsicles, ice cream, and of course whatever else your eating ... She wants! hahah I just love the age she is at right now, I wish I could freeze her for awhile. She is just so much fun.. I love watching her figure things out and doing something for the first time. Speaking of she FINALLY is getting her 1st tooth as of this past Tuesday. It is about time haha. She isn't crawling yet, but I think that will come in "Paislyn's time". I know it seems silly to share all these little things about Pay, but there was a time when I didn't think I would see her do these things. God has allowed Paislyn to live a full and productive life. She is such a gift to me and I couldn't love her more if I tried.  

Little Miss : )

Silly Girl

 LOVES her Snacks

Popsicle in the pool, life is good!

She is so Beautiful

She thinks she is a big girl, drinking out of mommy's water : )