Heart Cath Update

Looks like she is smiling at Jesus : )

Me and my girl after her heart cath

Daddy and his princess

 Smiley girl before the heart cath with her dolly from maw maw and paw paw!

                                          So Sleepy after the cath : )

My beautiful baby girl

Feeling good on the peds floor : )

                                       

8:00 a.m. Paislyn weighed in this morning at 17lbs 15 oz. before her heart cath. She was so smiley and had the JOY of the Lord! The nurses all thought she was adorable of course : ) But she truly was such a happy little girl!

11:00 a.m. Paislyn is out of her heart cath and did awesome : ) She is still sleeping and probably will be for a couple more hours. They said she did a great job! Dr. Hirsch came to talk to us and told us she was so pleased with how good her cath went. She showed us pictures of Paislyn's left and right ventricles and I never realized just how small her right ventricle was, it is just a little sliver compared to her left. ( It's her little Nemo ventricle) We are so glad that God saw her through the cath like he did. She will be able to eat as soon as she wakes up, and Dr. Hirsch said we have been doing a good job feeding her by the looks of her chubby legs : ) I give all the thanks and glory to God for seeing her through!

4:00 p.m.  Paislyn is doing awesome! She is laying in her bed like a little DIVA, with her "cell phone", dolly, blankie, while watching cartoons. She has eaten great and loving her bananas! Everyone is so amazed by how wonderful she looks and how CHUNKY she is! : ) They all LOVE HER!

Thank you all for the prayers for Paislyn! We appreciate them so much and we can tell GOD HEARS THEM ALL! Keep praying! Paislyn's surgery is at 7:30 a.m. tomorrow morning! They are taking her around 7! Continued prayers for our little girl! God is going to do big things I can tell already! Thanks so much!

Ready Or Not Here We Come....

The day has arrived. I have to admit before now I had kind of blocked it out of my mind. As I did laundry and packed our bags on Monday I wasn't emotional at all. I just kept myself busy and tried not to think about it. Paislyn was a little fussy Monday night and she wouldn't go to sleep. I felt a little overwhelmed, but I decided it would be the perfect time to just pray over her. I gave her a bottle and looked in her eyes and just prayed. I prayed that God would protect her during her surgery, and that she would feel peace inside her heart and body. I prayed that she would recover remarkably and that God would comfort her and hold her when I couldn't. She fussed a little bit after that so I walked around the house with her. She then spotted "the picture" on our wall and stopped crying and gave me a huge smile! For those of you who don't know what "the picture" is, it is a picture that was taken in her Little Miss Miracle onesie and tutu the day after we came home from her 1st surgery. I don't know what it is about this picture, but every time Paislyn sees it she gets the biggest smile on her face. Maybe she sees what a miracle she truly is. Maybe it's her way of thanking God for how far he has brought her already... who knows, all I know is that something about that picture blesses her heart. Tuesday rolled around and I felt a little more overwhelmed. I cried and cried for about 20 min when I first got up and then I felt better. I allowed myself just a moment of weakness and then looked at my baby girl with such Joy. I have watched her develop into such an amazing little girl and am so thankful that God chose me to be her mommy. Being a mom is the most amazing thing in the world. I have such an amazing mother!I want to tell her and everyone else how much I truly apppreciate her. My mom has always been there for me. She has been such a cheerleader for me through this time in my life. No matter how bad of day Paislyn was having in the hospital, my mom would encourage me and tell me it was going to be ok. She would be strong for me when I couldn't. Yes, I know there would be times when she would leave the room to "go the bathroom" and cry, but she always put on a strong face for me. Love ya mom and thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope I will always be that kind of mom to my children. I would have to say I have had a pretty emotional day today. It really is hard concept to think about. A few members from our church came over today to lay hands on Paislyn, and I was so grateful. It is so nice to see how many people really truly care about her.  Tonight we had a little get together at my mom and dads house so we could pray for Paislyn before we leave tomorrow. We had all of our grandparents over and it was a nice time.  I am truly blessed with an awesome family who loves and supports us! They are awesome! Well we are leaving tomorrow morning at 5 a.m. to head to Michigan. Paislyn will have a heart cath at 8 or 8:30. This procedure will be about 3 hours long. Please pray for no complications or blood clots during or after the heart cath. We will then have the rest of the day to love on, pray with, and hold our precious Paislyn before her surgery early Friday morning. I want to rest in assurance tonight that GOD will hold, comfort, and protect Paislyn all the days of her life! He is the great physician and I have faith that he will guide the doctors hands tomorrow and Friday. Please continue to pray for a smooth procedure and surgery and for a fast recovery for my baby girl. I do know that God gave me her for a reason and I will walk with her every step of the way. I am blessed and fortunate to have such a loving and beautiful little girl. Continue to lift her up and pray peace over our family in the upcoming days. We will get through it and we thank all of you for loving us enough to go through it with us! I will continue to try and blog as much as I can to keep everyone updated! I am going to "rest inside because it's going to be alright!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGCHecATSGs      "ARMS THAT HOLD THE UNIVERSE - FEE"

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. "  Proverbs 3:5,6


"Praise be to the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."    Psalm 28:6, 7

The Results

Happy little girl before the Echo

Her smile is PRICELESS!

So Sleepy after her Echo

Chewing on the pacifier that the nurse gave her

On the way home from Michigan

As we pulled up to U of M I began to feel anxious. All of the past memories were coming over me and I felt a little overwhelmed. We were driving by and Jake said, " There is our little walkway we walked everyday to and from the Ronald McDonald house, and there is the garage we walked through to get into the hospital everyday", and it almost seemed surreal. We had arrived. A part of me was excited to see nurses and doctors that we had seen before and to hear what they had to say about Paislyn. We got the the Pediatric Cardiology Clinic and signed Paislyn in and shortly after were escorted to her room. My beautiful baby girl weighed in at 17 lbs. 11 oz! Let me remind you that Paislyn had not eaten anything since 6 a.m. and for all of you that know her she takes her food pretty seriously. I was so nervous she would be so upset the entire drive up to Michigan and before her echo, but let me tell you she did not fuss, cry, or wimper one time. God had given her such a peace! I was so happy. The sedation room was dark and they had music playing in the background. They gave Paislyn an oral medicine called Chloral Hydrate and she fell fast asleep in her daddy's arms. They told us the echo would take about 40 min and to come back to the room then. When we got back in the room the nurse started to laugh. She said in the middle of the echo Paislyn decided to do her little "sit ups" and she opened her eyes real big and looked at Bryan ( The cardiologist), and gave him a big smile. She then decided it would be a great time to suck on her toes. They just laughed and laughed at her. The nurse went and got Paislyn's pacifier and finally got her back to sleep. We got back to the recovery room and she woke up great! As smiley and happy as ever! She was just talking away and inhaled 2 full bottles! All we heard all day was how beautiful Paislyn was. They told us how "pink" she was which is great to hear for a heart baby, and how big she had gotten! We waited for Dr. Armstrong to review Paislyn's echo while other "fellows" came to look at her. She loves to grab the stethoscopes, they are like a toy just for her. Finally Dr. Armstrong came in to tell us about her results. You know that feeling when you just know it didn't turn out the way you expected....... I saw it on her face. She began to tell us that Paislyn's ventricle had not grown like they thought it might. They thought she could potentially have a ventricle and a half, but instead they are now going the single ventricle repair route. She told us that Paislyn would need to have a heart cath and the  Hemi Fontan (2nd stage surgery) in the near future. I didn't know just how "near" she meant. She came back in and said that we would be coming back up there on March 31st for her heart cath and surgery the net day on April 1st. I was taken back to say the least. I said ok, put my head down and tried with all of my might not to cry. I knew this day would come.... just wasn't ready. Dr. Armstrong ordered a chest x-ray before we left. As we were walking down the long hallway to radiology I lost it. I couldn't hold it in anymore and I cried and cried. I was officially a mess. They called Paislyn's name for her chest x-ray and I was still crying. For all of you that have never got the pleasure of watching a chest x-ray...... it's horrible! They strap the baby on a tall table thing hanging in the air. They strap each arm up in the air and put a strap under their head forcing it to look up, while their legs are hanging down. I turned my head so I didn't have to see Paislyn like that and I noticed she wasn't crying, I looked up at her with her head all strapped back and she gave me the cutest little smile. It forced me to laugh out loud. She knew that was exactly what I needed at that moment. We got her all dressed and headed for home. Jake and I cried together almost the whole way home. We got our emotions out and then we knew it was time to deal. We needed to be strong for our daughter. I had a rough night sleep just thinking of the previous surgery and all it entails, but I know that God will watch over my precious Paislyn and protect her. I have faith and trust in the most awesome God that he will never leave her or forsake her. He will continue to touch Paislyn just as he has for the last 7 months. I will continue to "Be still and know he is in control" ( Fee) I ask for your prayers. Please pray peace and strength over Paislyn. I ask that you begin to pray for wisdom for Dr. Hirsch ( Paislyn's surgeon). Also I ask for prayer for Jake and I. Please pray for peace over us and that we will give God total control over our little girl. Thank you all so much! We love and appreciate all of you so much! More than you will ever know! 

It's here!

The day has finally come... we are headed back to The University of Michigan Hospital. However, this is not how I pictured our next visit to Michigan. We are headed back to the hospital for an Echo and not another surgery at this time and that in and of itself is a praise God. In October, when Paislyn had her first surgery we were told she would probably need about 3 surgeries to fix the problems in her heart. We were told that we would be coming back to Michigan around 6 months of age for her 2nd surgery, well Paislyn will be 7 months old next Thursday and she has yet to have her 2nd surgery. Yes, I know it is just a month so far, but God is working in Paislyn's life and she is doing well right now. We are headed up to Michigan tomorrow for Paislyn to have a sedated Echo done at 2p.m. I am anxious and excited to see what is going on in that precious little heart of hers. I do believe God can perform Miracles! I also know that no matter the outcome of her echo I will do whatever it takes, with a smile on my face to make sure Paislyn is healthy, because God gave me the most precious GIFT in the world. I am again coming to you for prayer! Please join me in praying for Paislyn's heart and echo tomorrow. Pray for the Doctors to see exactly what they need to see and for good news..... well just pray for a MIRACLE :) That would work! Thank you so much, love you all!

" You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples." Psalm 77:14

Anticipation

I feel so much stress lifted off of me since I talked to Paislyn's surgeon last week. However, I know how up and down the road can be at times and I am prepared for it either way. We received a call a few days ago to schedule Paislyn's Echo with Dr. Armstrong at U of M. Her Echo will be on March 21st at 1:15 p.m.! I am so excited to see what is going on in that precious little heart of hers, and am nervous at the same time. I know God has it under control and I will be okay with whatever we find out. I also know that we have such a powerful and miraculous God and he is able to perform MIRACLES! I am hoping for a miracle for my baby girl. Please join us in praying that God has Paislyn's heart in his hands, and that her Echo looks great! I know he is able : ) Thank you all so much for your prayers for Paislyn throughout this journey, I believe it is because of all of your prayers that she has come as far as she has. You have all blessed are family so much!

Encouraging News

I anxiously awaited 3 p.m today to hear from Dr. Hirsch. I was blown away at what she had to say. She preceded to tell me that she thinks Paislyn is doing great. She is very encouraged by her oxygen saturations being in the high 80"s, which is very good for a heart baby. I at first was feeling discouraged, because selfishly I want her surgeries over with and it didn't sound like I was getting "the date" like I was desperately seeking. Dr. Hirsch then explained to me that all right heart babies are different, and she referred to Paislyn as a "tweener". Some babies need there second surgery right at 6 months of age, some babies do not need a 2nd surgery at all, and some babies (like Paislyn), are in between! We are now just waiting....... : ) We are watching her oxygen levels and making sure they do not fall under the 70's range.  BUT........ Dr. Hirsch did say that she doesn't think Paislyn will need a 3rd surgery at ALL! : ) That is a PRAISE GOD : ) I want them to do anything and everything they have to do to make my little girl healthy, but the less the better! We are going to go to University of Michigan Hospital so Paislyn can get a sedated Echo cardiogram. After Dr. Hirsch reads the Echo she will them be able to tell us a little bit more about what will need to happen in Paislyn's future. At that point Dr. Hirsch will schedule Paislyn for a heart cath when necessary. I really feel that this phone call was God ordained and it was able to relieve me from a little stress I was carrying. I had a breakdown with my mom last night, and I was struggling. I know that God has Paislyn's life all planned out and I need to be strong for her and walk her through it. I feel like what I heard today was good news for me. Yes, we still don't know when or, if, or how far away her next surgery is, but God does.... and I have to trust that when it happens it will be at the exact time it needs to be for my baby girl! I feel like this is another way of God showing me I just need to TRUST him. We don't always get the answers we want when we want them, but we have to Trust that God has it all in control, and I do believe he does! 

" Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Please listen to this song that was introduced to me by my Aunt Jean, and it has helped me SO MUCH! It truly has helped me have a peace in my heart : ) " Be still and know he is in control, he will NEVER LET ME GO" ...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGCHecATSGs

Listening To God

As I was doing my devotions I came across "the word of the day", and the word was RELY. It was like a slap in the face for me. I need to rely on God in ALL circumstances. God will not give me more than I can handle and he will not let me face these trials alone. I feel so comforted in Gods love, and know that I need to place Paislyn in Gods hands. It is such a hard task to do sometimes, but I know that he will protect her. I fell completely in love with that little 5lbs 15 oz baby girl 6 months ago, and it is hard to believe, but God loves her so much more than I every could. I never would have imagined my life the way it is now, but I see how much God is working in me. I am not perfect, and never have been, but I feel honored that God trusted me.. regular ole' Aubrey to take care of such a special and incredible little girl. I mean really she truly has the most amazing spirit and I can see her spunky and sweet personalty shining through already. I am truly BLESSED by what God has done in my life and for my Paislyn Nicole. I know that there are many families facing worse circumstances than mine, and I hurt for them and continue to pray for them.  I am blessed by the impact Paislyn has had on my life. I know that the road ahead will not be easy, but I also know that when we reach the end of the road someday I will be rejoicing with my little girl at what a miraculous God we serve. Paislyn will have experienced first hand God's mercy and grace, and there is nothing better than that. God has given Paislyn such an awesome testimony. She truly is our "Little Miss Miracle", and such an awesome miracle she is. I selfishly ask for specific prayer for peace for Jacob and I in the upcoming weeks. I have a phone consultation with Dr. Hirsch (Paislyn's surgeon) on March 9th, and am anxiously awaiting the news. I am ready, I am ready for this to be over and ready to see what God has in store for Paislyn's life. I know I need to be patient and rest in God's peace and know that with him all things are possible. I know he will continue to guide my family and I every step of the way. Thank you for your prayers, I am so thankful for everyone of you that has been there for us during this journey. You truly are Paislyn's prayer warriors and we love you all!

Heavy Heart

     So I am officially starting to blog on this site now. It is the one that I have found easiest to use, and that is exactly what I need. I have so many things running through my mind tonight. Tomorrow morning Bowen Hammitt, a heart baby that we have became very close to, is having his second surgery. I have such a heavy heart for Matt and Sarah and pray peace over them right now. I know God has brought Bowen so far and will protect him and watch over him, because we serve such an incredible God. I don't understand how people get through circumstances like these without trusting in the Lord. Life can be so hard sometimes and without the Trust and Faith I have in God I don't know how I could do it.
     I am beginning to feel overwhelmed thinking of Paislyn's next surgery. I have a phone consult with Dr. Hirsch, Paislyn's surgeon, Wed. March 9th. I am anxious and nervous to hear what she has to say.  I want to know how she feels, and what she is thinking, but I also dread hearing "the date", of Paislyn's upcoming surgery. I keep continuing to pray that God will prepare my heart. I am not sure there is ever a point where you are completely ready for your child to have open heart surgery, but I know that God gave me such an overwhelming peace the morning of her first surgery, and I trust him to do the same this time. I wish I could take all of this for Paislyn so she didn't have to hurt or feel the pain, but I know I can't. I just need to be a strong mommy and hold her, love her, and comfort her every way I can.
     Do you ever feel like, "why me?" I have to admit I have went to that place a few times and I know that it is not a good place to rest. I can honestly say I think God gave me Paislyn just the way she is for multiple reasons. I think God was giving me a wake up call. Yes, it could seem kind of extreme, but not really. God used something as precious as my beautiful baby girl to show me under all circumstances, and in every trial that I need to put my full faith and trust in him. He gave Paislyn to me to love and cherish, but also to help others see what an incredible, mighty, and righteous God we serve. If I have to go through this so others can see Christ, than I am honored.
     I hope I didn't come off to emotional, I want to start getting my thoughts out and just share from a mother's heart what's going on in my life. I want to end this post with a prayer....
Dear Lord, Please watch over Bowen tonight and prepare his body for surgery tomorrow. I pray you put your arms around Matt and Sarah tonight and give them an incredible peace and let them know you will hold Bowen every step of the way throughout that surgery Lord. I know you are the great physician, and I ask that you put your hands on Dr. Bove tonight Lord, and give him the wisdom he needs tomorrow Lord. You are such an amazing and powerful God, we love you and trust you, please hold Bowen tonight and keep him strong. In Jesus name we pray...... Amen

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world."  John 16:33