So I am officially starting to blog on this site now. It is the one that I have found easiest to use, and that is exactly what I need. I have so many things running through my mind tonight. Tomorrow morning Bowen Hammitt, a heart baby that we have became very close to, is having his second surgery. I have such a heavy heart for Matt and Sarah and pray peace over them right now. I know God has brought Bowen so far and will protect him and watch over him, because we serve such an incredible God. I don't understand how people get through circumstances like these without trusting in the Lord. Life can be so hard sometimes and without the Trust and Faith I have in God I don't know how I could do it.
I am beginning to feel overwhelmed thinking of Paislyn's next surgery. I have a phone consult with Dr. Hirsch, Paislyn's surgeon, Wed. March 9th. I am anxious and nervous to hear what she has to say. I want to know how she feels, and what she is thinking, but I also dread hearing "the date", of Paislyn's upcoming surgery. I keep continuing to pray that God will prepare my heart. I am not sure there is ever a point where you are completely ready for your child to have open heart surgery, but I know that God gave me such an overwhelming peace the morning of her first surgery, and I trust him to do the same this time. I wish I could take all of this for Paislyn so she didn't have to hurt or feel the pain, but I know I can't. I just need to be a strong mommy and hold her, love her, and comfort her every way I can.
Do you ever feel like, "why me?" I have to admit I have went to that place a few times and I know that it is not a good place to rest. I can honestly say I think God gave me Paislyn just the way she is for multiple reasons. I think God was giving me a wake up call. Yes, it could seem kind of extreme, but not really. God used something as precious as my beautiful baby girl to show me under all circumstances, and in every trial that I need to put my full faith and trust in him. He gave Paislyn to me to love and cherish, but also to help others see what an incredible, mighty, and righteous God we serve. If I have to go through this so others can see Christ, than I am honored.
I hope I didn't come off to emotional, I want to start getting my thoughts out and just share from a mother's heart what's going on in my life. I want to end this post with a prayer....
Dear Lord, Please watch over Bowen tonight and prepare his body for surgery tomorrow. I pray you put your arms around Matt and Sarah tonight and give them an incredible peace and let them know you will hold Bowen every step of the way throughout that surgery Lord. I know you are the great physician, and I ask that you put your hands on Dr. Bove tonight Lord, and give him the wisdom he needs tomorrow Lord. You are such an amazing and powerful God, we love you and trust you, please hold Bowen tonight and keep him strong. In Jesus name we pray...... Amen
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have OVERCOME the world." John 16:33
Yep, tears down my face! You are an amazing Mom, Aubrey! Like you said even though it is a horrible situation, he picked the perfect family! Tons of support and prayers going your way! Your little girl is so precious, and definitely a gift to everyone!
ReplyDeleteAubrey this is a beautiful post! You make me cry. I was just telling my aerobics class tonight that the day of Paislyn's surgery, you had such peace, and that is what we prayed over the Hammitts. Just remember, "the arms that hold the universe is holding you tonight you can rest assured, it's going to be alright. And the voice that calmed the raging sea is calling you his child, so be still and know He's in control. He will never let you go." (Fee)
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